If there ever was a time in our lives where many are opening up about their trauma and their healing; it is now. And I’ve got to say, it’s been refreshing to see a generation of people willing to be transparent about the things so many of us have experienced.
Trauma can be physical, mental or emotional; and sometimes it’s all three. Regardless of how we experience it; the important part is how we heal from it. In order to heal from trauma, we have to be open to discussing it with a professional or another safe choice.
While it’s important for us to be kind to ourselves during our process of healing; it’s also really important that we be kind to others as well.
You might be saying to yourself “Well duh AP that’s a no brainer”, but let me clarify.
Avoid the Trauma Comparison
When a person opens up to share their journey, it can be a scary thing. So imagine finding the courage to do so and being met with comments such as “it’s not that serious” or “well, so and so had it worse than you” or even “I’ve had it worse than you.”
Pain is subjective, and there’s no one way to measure how a traumatic experience impacts an individual. To minimize what someone else may feel simply because you’ve had a different experience is pointless. There’s no prize for who has the most detrimental trauma; so there’s no need to treat it as a competition. Instead, whether you think someone’s experience is “traumatic enough” or not, lead with the compassion you want to be met with.
Be Patient with Yourself and With Others
Healing is not linear, and because of that, the road to recovery can be full of ups and downs. How quickly one can reach some semblance of healing is contingent on their experience, their mental health status, their support and even their desire.
While it may appear that someone is simply not doing the work to heal; it very well can be any number of things. Instead of pushing a person to “get better”; look for ways that you can be of support. If you aren’t capable of being a support, refer them to resources that may be helpful without doing so in a condescending manner.
If you yourself are working on healing, it’s important that you be patient with yourself as well. Beating yourself up mentally or trying to hold yourself to some mythical standard will only cause more harm than good. Pace yourself and remember to take it one day at a time.
Trauma is Not a Choice But Healing Is
Autonomy is something I believe in heavily. We all have the right to choose and those choices include healing. We may have had no control over the things we encountered that traumatized us; but we do have the choice to not remain a victim.
Making the choice to heal is easier said than done. Healing work is just that- work. However the healing journey begins, the important part is that it’s an individual’s choice to do so how they see fit.
The Wrap Up
There’s many complexities when it comes to human psyche and emotional agility. As individuals it’s important we heal in a manner that is conducive to our wellbeing. However, I can guarantee you that no person ever finds peace within themselves by comparing their issues with someone else.
Be gentle with others.
Until next time,