I distinctly remember being a child and overhearing my mom talking with her friends in passing about how old they were and all the changes their bodies had gone through since arriving at whatever particular age. I remember thinking to myself how “old” 38 was.
Laughable right? I’m 34 years old now and I realize I’m just 4 years away from the age I thought my mom was “so old”. Isn’t amazing how our minds work when we’re children and can’t see beyond wishing we were teenagers?
I never really thought about age as I got older because I had this naive sense of invincibility; like I’d be in my 20s forever. Not even having children robbed me of that feeling. They were little tykes and I couldn’t see the day they’d be any older than that. I was gonna be young forever!
But then one day I woke up and I was 30, and it was as if some clock on my body said “times up.” And my health was changing, bones were making noises, I was tired doing things I had been doing my whole life, my hair was growing white strands and my kids weren’t so little anymore.
A lot happened in my life after I turned 30 and it hasn’t slowed down since.
The last couple of years I’ve been grappling with my health and that has consumed a lot of my thoughts. But sprinkled in there was this sadness that I was now “older”. Where had the time flown?
And I’ve been resentful.
When your health isn’t the greatest, you find yourself longing for the days of yor when everything was different.
One evening I started thinking though, about who I was when I was younger and who I was now. Was my body different? Sure. Was my health different? Yup. But was I as wise? Absolutely not.
While aging brings on it’s own symptoms of life; I’m so much wiser than I was. My patience is different, my views on life are different, my stress is different, my relationship with God is different, my relationship with my husband is different, even the relationship with my parents and siblings are different.
These differences are good, essential to my growth and could not have happened if I hadn’t gotten older.
It’s hard not to view aging as a bad thing when there are a gajillion products marketed to us daily that tell us to do everything to fight against aging. Dye your hair, use this under eye cream, this cold cream will erase the wrinkles; so on and so forth. We’ve been indoctrinated to believe that the signs of aging are somehow a bad thing.
So, I’ve made it my business to do my best not to worry about aging. It is after all inevitable. I want to spend less time being resentful of the cycle of life that has to happen and more time appreciating that I’ve had the opportunity to make it this far in life when many others have not.
Is taut skin nice? Yup. Is a full head of hair without greys nice? Indeed. But they’re not the end all be all of life.
Having the opportunity to change and be a better version of myself is way more valuable than that other stuff.
Until Next Time,