Motherhood. When you hear this word, many things may come to mind. Love, adoration, strength, struggle, devotion, sacrifice just to name a few. Motherhood is revered as one of the most self sacrificing acts a woman could engage in. It’s celebrated to the point it has it’s own holiday.
Sounds delightful right? But what about when a woman chooses not have children?
It seems like a decision any woman should have the right to make. However, when a woman voices her choice or desire not to enter into motherhood, the sanctimoms of the world have so much to say about it without any concern for why a woman might make that choice.
Honestly, it’s not anyone’s business. However, today I’ve had the good fortune of being able to interview a woman who made that very choice and she’s willing to share why.
2. Why did you make the choice to not have children?
I’m the oldest of my sisters and cousins and honestly I got burned out at an early age ALWAYS being the babysitter. And as Ive gotten older I’ve realized I enjoy my life, time, and sleep lol. I can get up and go when I please. Travel when I want without the stress of making sure my little is safe and comfortable. Also having Lupus and Fibromyalgia there are days I can’t care for myself and it’s unfair to a child if I’m not able to care for them.
3. At what age did it become clear to you that motherhood was not something you desired?
I was about 27 when I made the solid decision and expressed that I didn’t have a desire to have children. 30 is when I knew it was a wrap lol.
4. How have people responded to your choice not to have children?
Honestly people don’t take me serious especially my mom…she wants grandchildren badly. But I’ve been called lazy, heartless and selfish for not wanting children.
5. Has this had an impact on your dating life?
As of now it has not had an impact on my dating life. Most guys I’ve dated have children or they’re excited and impressed that I’ve made it this far without any children lol.
6. How do you feel when people impose their ideas about motherhood on you?
I become extremely frustrated and it aggravates me. In my opinion women are more than just human incubators! Especially being southern, people believe in traditional ideas of life.
7. If there is one thing you want to make clear to people about the decision not to have children, what would it be?
The one thing I want to make clear about not wanting to have children is that I’m not selfish but I’m thoughtful because I’m intoned with my feelings and desires. It’s more selfish to have children and then not do right by them.