Dear Fat Girl: Stop Asking for Acceptance

I’ve been thinking about how to write this for months. It’s a topic that pops into my head quite often, especially when I find myself scrolling social media or having conversations with my fat friends.

I started not to write about it because I didn’t want to not be able to articulate thoroughly what I mean; but I think I’ve found a way.

The fat acceptance, plus movement or however you choose to identify it, has seen a tremendous uptick in the last decade. I remember there was a time when seeing a plus body represented in any kind of media was really a rarity and  certainly even more rare when it came to positive representation.

Bloggers, influencers, and social media have really changed that. So much so that even if you don’t see fat or plus representation in mainstream media; you certainly can find it anywhere on the internet.

However, with all of this representation, there is always the narrative that comes along with it and it that’s the: “I’m worthy too” or “Fat girls can too”.  And this is the narrative I want to see dead and buried.

You might be asking yourself why and I’m going to tell you.

Maybe there was a point that we needed to tell people “hey, I’m fat but I can do _________ too”. People genuinely believe that fat people aren’t capable of the most basic of tasks let alone living fulfilling lives that don’t revolve around diet culture.

And the reality is, there are more people committed to believing that rhetoric than they are willing to change their thought process.

The reality is, no matter how much we as fat people say “I can too”; society does not care. We are literally wasting our breath.

You could show them you’re capable of standing on your head, show them your clean bill of health, your happy love lives, your ability to love yourself and they would still tell you that you are not good enough because that my friends is how society is designed.

We have to stop asking for acceptance that they don’t want to give because we literally do not need it.

The truth is there are plenty of fat people on this planet who work, have healthy relationships, travel, love fashion, love to move their bodies etc. in stark contrast of the sad pitiful picture that often gets painted of fat people.

Why do we need to keep reminding people of this? If they accepted it, would it somehow change the value of the person you are? Will it somehow add a measure of worth to your life you didn’t have before?

No. It wouldn’t.

How about we just live? Like literally live our lives not worried about who accepts our bodies or not? Stop begging for acknowledgement or recognition from people who do not want to give it to us because it literally does not matter.

I hate that fatphobia is a real thing that’s systemically ingrained in our culture and unfortunately results in unfair treatment from career placement to health care.

However, we’re not required to have to prove our worthiness to social media, or colleagues or anyone else for that matter by constantly justifying how we exist in our bodies.

I know I can’t speak for anybody else; but for me, this is something I’ve resolved to do.

No more explanations, justifications or demands for validations. How about you?

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