If there’s one thing I’ve been certain of pretty much since I was 9 years old; it’s that I have a beautiful smile. And I don’t say that in a conceited or braggadocios way, but it’s literally the one thing I’ve liked about myself pretty consistently…that is until now.
I share a lot about my health journey here on my blog because writing has always been therapeutic to me. The idea that someone else out here might relate has also been a pretty awesome motivating factor also. So, that’s why I’ve decided to open up about my dental journey.
My teeth have caused more anxiety in my life than my weight ever has. I have a gap, and to be honest I love it because it gives my face a little character. However, that isn’t the thing causing my dental worry. Back in 2010 I randomly had to have a tooth removed because it broke. At first, the dentist thought it was from me biting something.
As years went by, my teeth cracking began to progress with every dental x-ray. Every dentist would say the same thing; “your teeth are really clean but we don’t know what’s causing this.” I had cavity and root canal after root canal despite my best efforts to keep my teeth clean.
A few years later I had 7 teeth removed in surgery (4 were wisdom) all due to cracking. As of a week ago I just found out I have to have some more teeth pulled and crowns and bridges built for my mouth because my teeth continue to crack.
The only difference between now and then? I now know this is a direct link to my thyroid health. Complete shocker coming from me right? *insert sarcasm here* But now we’re past the point of being able to preemptively guard against the dental damage; it’s already done. The only thing I can do is get this $1200 plus work done and worry about protecting what teeth remain.
On a human level, my feelings are hurt. I feel self-conscious and the idea of having more teeth removed from my mouth and it makes me ill to my stomach. I keep thinking that I’m going to lose my smile as I know it. I know there are steps in these procedures and when all is said and done my mouth will look “normal”. But somehow that doesn’t seem to be comfort enough.
I was always taught that looks aren’t everything, that personality is what counts. And I believe that’s absolutely true; but I can’t pretend that I’m not at all invested in my looks. I am worried about my self-esteem in this.
I’m thankful that I have a rock solid support system starting with my husband. And to know that he is already by my side with his words of wisdom and comfort means so much to me. This seems daunting, but truly I have been through worse.
I look forward to sharing my after story with you guys and I’m praying that it is one of great success!