At least not at the moment.
In a world that is becoming more and more vocal about “self love”, “body positivity”, and “loving your flaws”, can I have an honest moment and say I’m struggling with that right now? I know, I know; it’s an unpopular opinion but I just have to be honest about where I am right now.
I wasn’t always the person who was loud and proud loving my size or my shape. I spent years self loathing and trying to change things about how I look. I’m proud to have grown such long way from that girl who couldn’t look in the mirror. I’m proud of myself for learning that wearing shorts or showing my arms isn’t a triumphant act but rather it is my right. I’m so glad that I’m no longer crippled by the fear of existing in a fat body and having learned to LIVE my life in spite of my weight.
But right now, in this very stream of time I’m living in, I am in a space where my struggle is absolutely real to love myself.
It’s more than the size that I am, or the extra spread in my hips and belly; it’s hard to explain actually. I know a lot of it has to do with my mobility and the limited range of motion. This idea of inadequacy that has crept into my bones.
And listen, this isn’t a cry for help, my support system is more than sufficient; and for that I’m grateful! This is me just sharing so in case you should be in a space similar to mine; you know you’re not alone.
I’m in an uncomfortable space, and it’s said it’s in those spaces of discomfort we grow. I’m looking forward to seeing who I blossom into.
This beautiful dress is courtesy of Tara Lynn’s Boutique. I am wearing a size 5x (30/32) and she carries up to a size 6x!