Honest Moment: I Don’t Feel Positive About My Body

At least not at the moment.

In a world that is becoming more and more vocal about “self love”, “body positivity”, and “loving your flaws”, can I have an honest moment and say I’m struggling with that right now? I know, I know; it’s an unpopular opinion but I just have to be honest about where I am right now.

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Mauzie Floral Maxi from Tara Lynn Boutique

I wasn’t always the person who was loud and proud loving my size or my shape. I spent years self loathing and trying to change things about how I look. I’m proud to have grown such long way from that girl who couldn’t look in the mirror. I’m proud of myself for learning that wearing shorts or showing my arms isn’t a triumphant act but rather it is my right. I’m so glad that I’m no longer crippled by the fear of existing in a fat body and having learned to LIVE my life in spite of my weight.

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But right now, in this very stream of time I’m living in, I am in a space where my struggle is absolutely real to love myself.

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It’s more than the size that I am, or the extra spread in my hips and belly; it’s hard to explain actually. I know a lot of it has to do with my mobility and the limited range of motion. This idea of inadequacy that has crept into my bones.

And listen, this isn’t a cry for help, my support system is more than sufficient; and for that I’m grateful! This is me just sharing so in case you should be in a space similar to mine; you know you’re not alone.

I’m in an uncomfortable space, and it’s said it’s in those spaces of discomfort we grow. I’m  looking forward to seeing who I blossom into.

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This beautiful dress is courtesy of Tara Lynn’s Boutique. I am wearing a size 5x (30/32) and she carries up to a size 6x!