Honest Moment: I Don’t Feel Positive About My Body

At least not at the moment.

In a world that is becoming more and more vocal about “self love”, “body positivity”, and “loving your flaws”, can I have an honest moment and say I’m struggling with that right now? I know, I know; it’s an unpopular opinion but I just have to be honest about where I am right now.

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Mauzie Floral Maxi from Tara Lynn Boutique

I wasn’t always the person who was loud and proud loving my size or my shape. I spent years self loathing and trying to change things about how I look. I’m proud to have grown such long way from that girl who couldn’t look in the mirror. I’m proud of myself for learning that wearing shorts or showing my arms isn’t a triumphant act but rather it is my right. I’m so glad that I’m no longer crippled by the fear of existing in a fat body and having learned to LIVE my life in spite of my weight.

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But right now, in this very stream of time I’m living in, I am in a space where my struggle is absolutely real to love myself.

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It’s more than the size that I am, or the extra spread in my hips and belly; it’s hard to explain actually. I know a lot of it has to do with my mobility and the limited range of motion. This idea of inadequacy that has crept into my bones.

And listen, this isn’t a cry for help, my support system is more than sufficient; and for that I’m grateful! This is me just sharing so in case you should be in a space similar to mine; you know you’re not alone.

I’m in an uncomfortable space, and it’s said it’s in those spaces of discomfort we grow. I’m  looking forward to seeing who I blossom into.

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This beautiful dress is courtesy of Tara Lynn’s Boutique. I am wearing a size 5x (30/32) and she carries up to a size 6x!

 

 

 

2 Comments

  1. I don’t think it matters if you are skinny or have curves, a lot of women are unhappy with the skin they are in. I struggle at times too with the body I’m in. The world wants you to just be happy with what you’re given but it’s not that easy. I’ll say some prayers for you and your overall health. Know that He will only give you what you can handle and continue to use that as your support.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I am glad you have support we all need it and we all need to realize how important we are to all. I think I am really oblivious to the whole movement because of maybe being a blogger that don’t focus much on that. I am aware of my size who I am who has a say. I just hate people in my space. I made it my duty to focus on my life. That’s all I can do. I’ can be skinny there’s an issue I can be my size there’s an issue. I can be black or white there’s an issue. I can’t win. No one can. I love everyone and I hope more people will love themselves. Ik you know you are beautiful others refuse to accept and allow fear to cause ignorance.

    Liked by 1 person

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