If you would’ve told me just 4 years ago I’d be battling an autoimmune disease as well as arthritis I might have laughed. I was 29 after all, these things didn’t even seem like a possibility
As it turns out, they definitely were.
I’ve been chronicling my journeys here on the blog and on my Instagram as I navigate life with a different vehicle so to speak.
My doctor told me some few months ago I needed a cane to help assist me walk better with an arthritic hip. I heard him,I really did; but I chose to ignore him.
I kept thinking if I stretched enough, exercised enough that the pain would subside. I kept telling myself I was too young. I kept telling myself that people would stare. I kept telling myself everything my ego was saying but never what my body was saying.
About a week ago I finally swallowed my pride and purchased a cane. I have to be completely honest when I say it has really taken a toll on me mentally.
I’ve been depressed, sad and consumed with negative thoughts. I’ve dealt with plenty of upsets in my life. But few things have threatened to wipe my self esteem out like this.
I recognize this is not a mentally wealthy way to feel; so of course I’ve taken the proper steps to schedule a visit with a therapist. I understand that to fight this battle I need to be spiritually, emotionally and mentally strong.
I know that my illnesses don’t define me; but I cannot pretend that they are not playing a huge part in shaping me into a different person.
What I can say is, I’m definitely looking forward to seeing who I become.