The whole time I was pregnant, I was just so excited about the prospect of my lil guy growing; I rarely thought about my body in any form outside of it being the vessel for this baby. I enjoyed watching my belly get round and though I wasn’t a fan of my nose and butt spreading; it was worth it in my mind.
But the gag is; I didn’t think about how I’d feel after.
The first couple of months I was so consumed with caring for the baby and trying to catch sleep whenever I could; I barely looked at myself in the mirror. But now that the wildness has calmed down, I’ve had time to look at myself in the mirror.
Every. Thing. Is. Bigger.
And at first it brought me to tears. Here I was, the woman who always advocated for body positive movement, crying at my current size. I had to have a talk with myself.
It went a little something like: Hey self…I know you’re not where you wanna be right now. But I do appreciate you bringing me this far. We’ve had some changes, and that’s ok. I still love your feminine form. Let’s work on it together ok? One step at a time. In the meantime, I really like your smile.
And every day since that talk, I speak kind words to myself. It’s way too easy to drag yourself for your imperfections; it’s much harder to be kind to yourself.
I know everyday I won’t feel great, and as I journey to losing weight; I know it won’t be easy. But I’ve decided that loving myself is far more important than simply how I look.
I’m getting there, slowly but surely.