Maybe because I am trying to justify virtually finishing off a whole bottle of Red Moscato by myself…Lol. But whatevs (did I just say whatevs??) I rarely have moments where I am super relaxed and not fretting and worrying over my children, my husband, finances, LIFE!
So tonight I offered myself a break. I’ve failed to get a good night sleep for over two days now and I just can’t have that. I want to be out like lights this evening. And by the looks of this glass I am well on my way.
So, I’m sharing my random thoughts at the moment, bear with me.
- I wish I was a much nicer preteen when I was a youth and hadn’t been nearly as rebellious as I was. I feel like I am paying for it with my daughter. I love you mom.
- Why does it feel like no one is nearly as interested as I am in making sure that the kitchen STAYS clean at all times?
- Being a stay at home mom leaves me at the mercy (financially) of my husband’s paycheck; and while many women wish they could stay home and collect a man’s money, it somehow makes me feel dirty.
- I am terrified of getting it wrong with my kids. Being too strict, being too easy, not having enough balance and essentially making them hate me when their adults. Does anyone else have these fears?
- I still love sex, in a way that most women my age with kids don’t. I don’t know if I’m just wired wrong or what…but I’m sure my husband isn’t complaining.
- I wonder if my mom had this sex drive…and ew for even wondering.
- I have to get on a plane before I die. I’ve never travelled on a plane or left this God forsaken country; and I’d really like to at least once.
- Sometimes I really resent my sense of responsibility…but the moment I do I feel guilty…like I have no business feeling that way.
- Sometimes I fear the only legacy I will leave is my mistakes.
- I think I’ve had too many glasses.
- I wonder if I will spellcheck this post properly.
- I love my family more than anything; and at the end of the day that’s all that matters.