2014 in Review – A Recap of What I’ve Learned

2014 in review! I tend to hate the whole NYE thing; it’s always rife with stereotypical new year new me rhetoric that I personally hate.

This year was definitely one that proved to be a combination of things for me; mostly emotionally, which I guess is to be expected when you deal with major depression.

I lost 2 pregnancies 6 months apart.It was so devastating that I left my full time and part time job. My family and I moved 700 miles away from what we’ve known as home for 10 years. I also met my last year in my 20’s this year; in 3 short months I will officially be 30.

Lessons I’ve learned

I severed ties with someone who had been an emotional opportunist succubus. I revisited the reasons I fell in love with my husband, and I fell in love again.

Fought my depression with all my strength. Though I lost a few battles I have endured to make it through another year of fighting.

I grew up.

Recognition of selfish behaviors I had been wrestling with, and I have fought hard to change them.

Realized that self indulgence of any form has no place in a happy, well functioning family.

Took a step back from the ledge I had been so close to tip toeing off of.

I’m Not Done Learning & Growing

New year new me is not a phrase I’ll use, because I will still be me into 2015. Emotionally inept at times, sincere in my efforts, I will stumble, I will get up, I will learn and I will grow. I will have bad days and good days. I will have days where I will dance and greet the sun with a smile and I will have days when grief and sorry lay on my door’s step before I even rise.

The most important thing 2014 in review has taught me  is that I’ve survived. I’ve been granted another opportunity to make change where change is needed. Maybe I will succeed or maybe I will fail; who knows what 2015 will bring.

We’ll see.