2014 in Review

I tend to hate the whole NYE thing; it’s always rife with stereotypical new year new me rhetoric that I personally hate.

This year was definitely one that proved to be a combination of things for me; mostly emotionally, which I guess is to be expected when you deal with major depression.

I lost 2 pregnancies 6 months apart.It was so devastating that I left my full time and part time job. I moved 700 miles away from what I’ve known as home for 10 years. I also met my last year in my 20’s this year; in 3 short months I will officially be 30.

I severed ties with someone who had been an emotional opportunist succubus. I revisited the reasons I fell in love with my husband, and I fell in love again.

I fought my depression with all I had; and though I lost a few battles I have endured to make it through another year of fighting.

I grew up.

I recognized the selfish behaviors I had been wrestling with, and I have fought hard to change them.

I realized that self indulgence of any form has no place in a happy, well functioning family.

I stepped back from the ledge I had been so close to tip toeing off of.

I will not say new year new me, because I will still be me into 2015. Emotionally inept at times, sincere in my efforts, I will stumble, I will get up, I will learn and I will grow. I will have bad days and good days. I will have days where I will dance and greet the sun with a smile and I will have days when grief and sorry lay on my door’s step before I even rise.

The most important thing here is that I’ve survived; granted another opportunity to make change where change is needed. Maybe I will succeed or maybe I will fail; who knows what 2015 will bring.

We’ll see.

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