I got married when I was 23 years old. Despite how much I swore nothing would change; many things did. I noticed that my friends who didn’t have a man or a boyfriend or husband started distancing themselves. Instead of getting all in my feelings, I asked them what was up with the plague treatment.
To my surprise, many of their responses were the same. “You’re married, I didn’t think you’d be interested in [fill in the blank]. WHAT? This was totally absurd to me. These ladies had been my friends before my marriage, why would they suddenly stop? So after reassuring several of them that I was the same ol’ Alicia, I did see my social life start to shift. Most of my friends have children so there were plenty days where activities included them. But on the days I just needed a moment away from the kids and hubby, I made a beeline for my girlfriend’s house for a glass of something good and some conversation that didn’t include talk of diapers or coupons or school.
I’m scrolling through Facebook the other day and I see a post about how married women shouldn’t have single friends. *scratches head*. Underneath this statement was a slew of responses, but many of them were in agreement with this. Comments included “Single women don’t respect married couples!”, “If your wife has single friends she’s gonna act single.” etc. I laughed so hard I thought my insides would fall out. Grant it, my single friends definitely get to do things that I can’t, because that’s life. Mostly because their wallets are a bit heavier than mine.
Anyway, here’s my little ol’ opinion. I’d like to believe that as a grown adult I know my responsibilities and make my own decisions. And while friends can be influential I would like to think my single friends respect my marriage or else I shouldn’t even be calling them friends. While it’s nice to have couples to hang with, or other wives or mothers that I can relate to; this does NOT mean that my single friends will suddenly be wiped from existence. What happens when that single friend is no longer single? Do you guys suddenly become friends again after you’ve dropped them like a bad habit? Any self-respecting person wouldn’t accept that.
So in conclusion, this whole debate is stupid. Lol